Abandoned

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It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

I thought that when I signed with a publisher, things would workout for me as an author.

Did I expect overnight success and wealth? No. (Sure, I dreamed about it; who doesn’t?) Did I expect movie deals and celebrities begging to star in my stories? No, of course not. (Again, yes, I dreamed about it.) Did I expect to be able to rest on my laurels? Nope to that too.

I did expect maybe a bit more security. I did expect to at least take my husband to dinner with my first royalty check, even if it did take a little time and a few more books before that happened.

I did not expect the company to announce that it’s closing its doors, especially not with the suddenness with which it happened. Especially without answers.

I feel abandoned. I feel betrayed. I feel disrespected. And I am not the only one. Many of us who wrote, edited, proofread, and designed under Booktrope’s umbrella feel as though the Powers That Be have abandoned us. “Please be patient,” they tell us. “We’re doing our best to work this out.”

I have no doubt they’re trying to work something out, and I understand that it may take time. But we need answers. We deserve answers. We have been left to our own imaginations–come on, we’re writers! What else do we do?–and have come up with all kinds of scenarios and conspiracy theories about what has happened and what will happen. And then they tell us to simmer down, to resist feeding into the rumors. Rumors of lawsuits, of bankruptcy, of aliens from another galaxy having taken over (Okay, that one hasn’t surfaced yet, but for all we’re hearing of the truth, it could have happened, right?)

But what else do we have? In the absence of any real information, of course rumors will surface. Or someone will mishear or misinterpret something someone else has said. And then the stress levels go up. I’ve seen posts from fellow authors that genuinely concern me, because this stress has resulted in worsening health issues, lack of sleep, inability to eat, or binge eating (FYI, there is a box of cream-filled donuts screaming at me from the kitchen, assuring me that they’ll make it all better.).

“Just keep writing. Just keep doing what you do.” I’d like to. I’ve tried to. But I can’t. The two books I have tied up with Booktrope are part of a series. I’m at a standstill with working on Book 3 because I don’t even know if it’s a possibility that those stories may not belong to me at this point. And without those two books, it’s pointless to write Book 3, isn’t it?

For someone who has had trust issues in the past, this is a horrible place to be in. I want to be able to write again, to publish again, but at what cost? I know without a doubt that I will never again trust my work to a publisher, traditional or hybrid. At least if I self-publish and screw something up or run out of money or whatever, I will know what happened. I will know who to blame. And I will know who to turn to in order to work things out.

Abandoned

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11 thoughts on “Abandoned

  1. A great post. My heart’s with you. Book one and two of my series are tangled up in this Booktrope mess. But Im moving forward with book three because I want to know how it ends. I have readers that want to know also. And at least this outcome is in my control. Or that’s what I tell myself. Both of us know, it’s the characters that control everything! ❤

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    • I know, but I am just so fearful that if our books do get tied up in legalities, wouldn’t that also tie up our sequels? I know nothing of how this all works, and as I said above, without any concrete answers, we’re all left to our own wild imaginings and worst case scenarios. THis would make such a great story, wouldn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s a bad scene. I have had much the same issue with Simon & Schuster over one of my seagoing series. Be assured: you will survive this shipwreck. Bear up and keep fighting!

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  2. Am so sorry to hear about this awful situation for you and many others! Just know don’t give up don’t leave your dreams in the dust pretend book trope never existed and self publish your talent love keep going I don’t know how you feel I’m just a reader but if you need anything I’m here to take a vent session on or help with spreading the word about new works for you please whatever you do don’t let their end be yours too! You CAN do it sometimes bad things happen or people we trust betray us but the most important thing to take from it is a lesson learned hold your head high and keep moving forward no matter how hard and don’t eat the donuts!!! Or do lol just DONT GIVE UP!!!!
    With love
    -Sunni

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  3. Patience is hard when you feel adrift. Our community rocks, though, and we’re together, which is awesome. So if you’re adrift – so are we, but we’re building a network, a city on the expansive ocean as it were, to help each other in these times and moving forward. We are authors. That’s what we do. Love you Leta! Keep up the good work ❤

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  4. I’m so sorry, Leta.

    This resonated with me in particular: “But what else do we have? In the absence of any real information, of course rumors will surface.” That’s precisely what I’ve seen time and time again when a company is in trouble, and yet the Powers That Be don’t seem to learn from it. Gossip abhors a vacuum.

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    • I’ve settled with one proofreader, but otherwise, everything is set to shut down on the 31st. I’m still writing and still deciding which direction to go from here. It will all work out in the end.

      Liked by 1 person

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